Giving the Gift of Life

Beyond Breast Cancer: The Gift of Life
A Three Day Conference to Promote Breast Cancer Awareness
Irkutsk, Siberia • June 2008

The program was delivered entirely in Russian. “I had a translator but I found it was astounding how much was communicated through sharing passion, gesture, tears and warm embraces.” -Martha

Day 1 Presentation
by Martha Hayward

Three years ago I was diagnosed with breast cancer. I was 48 years old. I was in perfect health. No one in my family had ever had cancer. Until two months before when my sister had been diagnosed with breast cancer.

My sister is two years older than I am. On her 50th birthday she had decided it would be wise to have an annual physical. Everyone says things start falling apart when you turn 50, right?

I was going to her chemotherapy appointments with her. We talked everyday for hours about what she was going through.
Then I realized that I had not had a mammogram in over two years. I knew that now that my sister had breast cancer that I would be at increased risk. But I certainly was not worried about actually having cancer. What would be the likelihood of that?!

But after multiple mammograms, biopsies and ultrasounds followed by MRIs I was diagnosed with not one, but 3 cancers in my right breast and two in my left.

I am here today because of early detection.

I could have been diagnosed even earlier had it not been for my fear and denial. I had felt a small lump in my right about a year earlier. It had terrified me. But I had convinced myself that it was nothing – that it couldn’t be anything because I was too young and no one in my family had ever had any kind of cancer.

But when I was sitting with my sister as she received her chemotherapy the fear and denial were broken down.

One of the things I learned was that every cancer is different and every patient is different.

Even though my sister and I both had breast cancer we chose very different treatments. My sister had one site of cancer and so she opted for a lumpectomy followed by chemo and radiation.

I had multiple sites and so the only option for me was bilateral mastectomy. But I chose not to undergo chemotherapy. The doctors said that chemo would increase my survivability by one percent. My cancer has only begun to travel into the sentinel nodes and both the sentinel and axillary nodes had been removed. That one percent was not enough to convince me to put myself through what I was watching my sister deals with.

After 8 hours of surgery on July 12, 2005 I awoke to my doctor telling me that I had lost too much blood for them to do reconstruction. Although I had wanted the reconstruction, I was strangely relieved at the news. I continue to be relieved at not have anything foreign - or reconstructed in my body.

It was a really tough time in my life. It was really tough for my whole family. Imagine my mother having two daughters fighting cancer. And my kids watching me suffer.

But I was surrounded by amazing friends and work colleagues. I not only had my sister to talk to every day and compare notes, I had a dear friend who was operated on two weeks after me.

Together we shared every detail of the experience. We were able to prepare one another for what every test would feel like, what to expect from tests, how to deal with aches and pains, what to eat, what to wear. More importantly, we could share the pain and the fear without having to talk or speak. We just knew.

That relationship continues to this day.

As I began to heal to I really wanted to find a way to let every woman know that in their loneliest moments – they are not alone.

The Dana Farber Cancer Institute has a Patient Family Advisory Council. When I was asked to join I thought this would be a way to help communicate this message to all breast cancer patients.
I also had come up with idea for Remember Beads. I really wanted every woman in the world to know that they could save their own life if they had the courage to do frequent breast self exam AND if they knew what they were looking for.

It is because of Remember Beads that Yelena first contacted me. Sharing this moment, this message with you is an incredible thing for me.

I am just one person. All I have to offer is my story and my commitment to getting out the message that early detection saves lives. I was diagnosed thanks to that message being a part of my culture for over 20 years.

Together, today, we can make a difference.

We have a lot of work to do.

We are going to change the face of breast cancer in this region.
We are going to save lives.
We are going to take action.

I am living proof that the lessons leaned over the past 25 years in the US are life saving lessons.
I am living proof that cancer education saves lives.
I am living proof that knowledge is power in the fight against cancer.
I am living proof that early detection saves lives.

Today we are going to begin the work that was started 25 years ago in my country.
But it is not going to take 25 years.
Today, building on the lessons already leaned; we are going to change the survival rate in this country from 50% to 90%.

Today we are going to start a movement of hope.

Hope is what makes a difference between dying from cancer to living with cancer.

Just two weeks ago I was in a meeting at Dana Farber. A doctor was faced with a dilemma with an 11-year-old patient and her family. The family had traveled from Russia for treatment. They had asked the medical team not to tell their daughter she had cancer. They said,” The word cancer will take away her hope”.

Think about the power of a word. The word cancer can take away hope.

But I am living proof that HOPE can conquer cancer.

Your presence here today is the HOPE that will change the meaning of cancer.

So let’s get started.